oh beezy

miscellaneous cultural commentary from two urban twenty-somethings. on this here interweb, we go by "bee" and "zy."

america’s next top midget

So I was watching Cycle 12…and marveling at how frighteningly doll-like Allison looks…

…when something at commercial caught my attention.

“We’re taking high fashion to a new height. If you’re 5’7″ and under…apply…Maybe the fiercest models come in small packages!”

Doth my ears deceive me?  ANTM for little people?!

Nope. It’s for real. Tyra’s seriously inviting the shorties to play. It’s going to be the Land of the Lilliputians, but  fierce, as Tyra would say.

Oh, that I were stateside, that I might humiliate myself for the chance to be the first dwarf named America’s Next Top Model.  I would show up in flats, with a pair of heels and my own stool (just in case).  I would fawn. I would prance.  I would claim to be there to discover my short model potential, while secretly plotting to write a post-show exposé.  At least that’s what I’d tell you, beezies.  Vain pygmy that I am, I’d be lying.

But I’ll resign myself. It’s OK I couldn’t make it, I guess–especially since I probably would have gotten trampled by a horde of teeny tiny model wannabes at yesterday’s NYC tryouts!

According to the CW,

An altercation occurred today at a casting call for the next edition of “America’s Next Top Model” in New York City.  Representatives of The CW are working and cooperating with local authorities on the matter.

At least the NYT finally had something juicy to say:

It was America’s next top melee.

Puntastic, NYT.  Continue!

An open casting call for the reality television program “America’s Next Top Model” turned into mayhem on Saturday afternoon in Midtown Manhattan. Fights broke out, three people were arrested and at least six others suffered minor injuries after they were pushed down in a crush of thousands of aspiring models waiting in line to be discovered.

The police did not say what caused the disturbance outside the audition site at the Park Central Hotel, at 210 West 55th Street, but would-be contestants for the 13th season of the popular program blamed a lack of organization, frayed nerves and a brief panic that erupted when someone screamed that a smoking overheated car was on fire and about to explode.

“Everyone got thrown everywhere,” said Annina Manttari, 23, of Hackensack, N.J. “People were getting run over.”

And that was before the little imps were hauled off for inciting riots!

Now that’s fierce.


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